Age of Innocence

I didn't really feel like there was anything "wrong" with me. Aside from the silly questions posed by other children like "what color is my coat?" or "hey, what color is this folder?" I did not feel singled out. Even at a young age, I thought those questions were so stupid; Did the kids really think they were giving me some kind of test? Anyone could fake colorblindness by giving the wrong answers to such questions! Even today, kids ask me these questions when they find out and I always quietly chuckle to myself as I answer.

I never remember feeling like the sunlight was too bright, as long as I had my sunglasses on. If I ever lost them, of course, it was a dire emergency! On a family vacation to Florida, I lost my sunglasses while jumping waves and body surfing. After the loss, it was like the vacation grinded to a halt for me. Miraculously, my dad found the glasses washed up ashore awhile after I lost them, whew!! The following year, on our repeat vacation, the sunglasses got lost for good, in the same way. I had to wait for a new pair to be shipped from our optometrist in Wisconsin. When I got them the freeze frame ended!

Several months ago, I had taken a long walk with my husband in the daytime, in search of a breakfast spot. At breakfast I droppoed my sunglasses and they broke. I felt stranded, similar to when I was a child on that Florida beach. We had wanted to walk further after breakfast, but with the glasses broken we just had to head straight home. I was left to holding my husband's arm and navigating by the residual images left in my eyes after blinking; The blinking slide-show of life to which am well accustomed. The journey home, which would have been an ecumbrance when I was a child, was now kind of an adventure. So, I guess I have made some progress since then!

But, I have also made "regress". My coming to adulthood was like those Looney Tunes cartoons when a character runs off a cliff and keeps running until they realize where they are, at which point they fall. When I realized what I was, or rather, what I was not, I fell.